Fart Joke … Not A Joking Matter

By Alex Nimby on Saturday, February 11, 2012
Filled Under: Education

The following excerpt from an article noted in quotation marks below appeared in the Canadian edition of the Huffington Post yesterday.

“Nothing clears a room like a fart — except, perhaps, a bomb scare.

Harold Wayne Hadley, Jr., 19, was arrested at a Mississippi junior college after he allegedly wrote a note on a piece of toilet paper on Tuesday, containing the word ‘bomb,’ according to Weirdnews.net.

The note prompted 11 emergency agencies to respond to the school, but there was no bomb.

Hadley and his family contend that he was only explaining the joy of flatulating in the library.

“He was in the restroom doodling on some toilet paper … we are from the country, and he calls passing gas, bombs,” said Hadley’s aunt, who wouldn’t give her name to WDAM. “[He] put ‘I passed a bomb in the library,’ talking about passing gas, and somebody came in and found it, gave it to a teacher that recognized his hand writing and it blew all out of proportion.”

Investigators wouldn’t say exactly what Hadley wrote, but WDAM reports that it was no more explicit than “I passed a bomb in the library.”

Hadley was arrested and held on $20,000 bail. If convicted of threatening to blow up the school, he faces 10 years in prison and a $10,000 fine, according to WAPT. His aunt says he earned straight A’s at Jones County Junior College and was scheduled to graduate in May.”

Slang language abounds in the English script but today it can quickly get you into big trouble because of the paranoia and fear being bred into every day living. This is not the first incident like this. Last week an email was intercepted by “authorities” where the phrase “blow away” and the word New York was used in the same sentence. It took a while to sort out but it was just a team leader trying to pep talk his sales team to blow away the competition at a New York sales meeting. Just one more reason to start encrypting your emails with PGP or whatever because all this snooping going on by agencies full of bozeoos like in the TSA is just going to be a big pain in the ass for everybody.

Taking things out of context today by over enthusiastic security types and their computerized robot scanners can cause a lot of people a lot of grief.  Remember the little thing we use to repeat about free speech. Where has common sense gone?

By all indication our farter friend never threatened to blow up anything. He was writing about a room clearing fart. Some snoopy kid picked up a piece of toilet paper that was scribbled on and even more miraculously a teacher connected the handwriting on the paper to a student. Why didn’t they just show it to the student and ask what it was all about?

If the teacher was sharp enough to know the  handwriting then presumably she was sharp enough to have  recognized the smell of a doozer of a  fart the kid was so proud of which had already preceded this event . Certainly other kids in the class would have.  This whole thing is crazy! 11 agencies respond to a kid’s fart. What’s wrong with this picture? Charging the kid is just a face saving measure on their part … and putting a kid in prison for 10 years is a lot of face saving. Will you feel safer with the kid in jail and the same security types running around the streets?

If you scribbled on a piece of toilet paper in your own  bathroom and some nosy house guest found it and reported you to the police would you be guilty of trying to blow up your house?

This is truly dangerous territory we are now treading where agencies such as Homeland Security and the IRS encourage citizens to spy on each other and even pay bribe money in some cases for them to do so.

We often wonder today how the German population fell under the rule of the Nazis. If you check your history you will find that these citizen spying gambits were the exact same tactics employed back in Germany. When is a burp a fart and when is a fart a bomb and since when can’t you say the word bomb in place of the word fart without being charged with something?

Maybe its time the people get their backs up and send a message to those that pretend to be watching out for our security that their over zealousness is over the top … and to just fart off.

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